financial success

Sep 11 2013

What are Your Money Stories?

When you grew up, did you hear “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” “We can’t afford that,” or “Save your money for a rainy day”?Sometimes our messages are more subtle. You watched your parents fight about money. You saw your father’s face wrinkle up and get tense as he paid the bills. Your mother seemed ashamed when she came home with shopping bags… she tried to hide them and threw away the receipts and tags. Your father locked the car, rolled up the windows and refused to stop in the neighborhood filled with homeless people. He insisted that people on welfare were lazy.

If you are having money challenges now, or just don’t feel 100% at peace with money… even if you feel great and are ready to bring in even more… taking a look at these money stories can start to shift your reality!

Personally, I’ve wondered why some women easily find men to “take care of them” financially, and why this has never been my story. So I looked a bit further…

First of all, I want to say that I don’t assume men “should” take care of women financially– it is up to each person or couple. But because I wanted to be a mother and devote much of my energy to it, for years I felt pain as I kept meeting men that couldn’t or wouldn’t support that.

I assumed there must be a reason, and so I meditated and asked for guidance. My inner voice, along with my daughter-to-be (before she was even conceived) said, “Keep doing your work.” I knew the Universe was trying to support me in making sure I “needed” to work, since my mission is also important.

I also reflected on all the messages I’d heard– my parents, my childhood, etc. I told myself the story in so many versions my head started to spin, and I renewed my dedication to my work. Still, I had the same result in my life.

Yesterday my Dad emailed to remind me it was the anniversary of his father’s death. And so I reflected on his story of being 5 years old, and his Dad asking him to make him a cup of coffee. My Dad didn’t know how to make coffee, but went and tried, then came back to find his father dead. That left his mother with 4 children to support on her own.

And a light bulb went off– my grandmother felt responsible, that there was no man to do it. She was super resourceful and even though I barely knew her, my father says I am a bit like her.

As for my mother’s mother, she was “taken care of” but deeply wanted to work as a school teacher. Her husband said “People will talk if they see you working.” He thought it would make him look bad! I think in those days, married women weren’t even allowed to teach school!

So I realized I’ve carried the energy of both my grandmothers– one feeling responsible due to circumstances and the other loving to work and wanting to work. I’m sure, if I looked further back in my lineage, there would be more “Ah-has”!

If you’re enjoying this, don’t worry, I do plan to continue working. I just am continually finding more ease with this and am eager to share what I’ve learned.

Besides asking my parents for information, I know another way to clear what’s happened in your lineage and this is through meditation. It is one of many exercises we’ll be doing in my “Manifesting Money” class that starts on Tuesday. Every day, I “see” my family flooded with light and I see forgiveness in all the relationships for generations back. I am sure this has contributed to my “ah-ha’s” and to the increased openness I’ve seen in all my family members.

When my clients are stuck on a problem they’ve processed for a long time, I check their lineage. Often I don’t know (or need to know) the story, but I’ll see a dark cloud or a disconnected line in the family line. I can often tell it’s a grandfather on the mothers’ side, for instance, and sometimes I see what it was. Usually, it’s the things people don’t talk about (like death, betrayal, hardship), that cause problems for generations to come because it was never dealt with in the first place. And we are all so sensitive! It goes beyond genetics.

If you’re curious if something like this might be affecting you, check out the Manifesting Money class or consider a private reading. You’re worth it!

May 13 2012

LOVING LIMITATION?!

I know, in spiritual circles it might sound like “limitation” is a bad word. But I am increasingly convinced that embracing it IS the key to lasting success when it comes to making our dreams real in our physical lives.By this I mean if you want money, if you want business or creative success, if you want a real relationship and if you want to feel great in your body— you need to have a respectful relationship with limitiation. Even– and I know this may sound crazy– enjoy it!

I know if you are reading this, you are naturally spiritual or at least know you are more than your body, and you understand on some level that the Universe is unlimited. That’s true, and our work in these bodies is to bring that unlimited potential into a physical, limited form.

So if you want to just feel joy and bliss, go ahead and meditate and focus on limitlessness. If you don’t want any tangible results in your life, that works. I did it for awhile and while I loved my meditations, my life got harder, not easier!

I’m not saying to never do this, just beware if you always do it.

So what are some signs you are not respecting limits enough?

You tend to have fantasy relationships, or you or your partner feel disconnected from one another
You visualize and affirm your dreams and still they haven’t come true
You don’t feel connected to your body
You are chronically late or in debt
You push yourself to the point of exhaustion
You frequently feel embarrassed

How can you start to respect limitations?

Try a grounding meditation. This is the first thing I teach in the first class of the Intuitive Training Program, because in my opinion it lays a foundation for healthy and effective intuitive awakening. Here is a 4-minute sample.
Allow yourself big goals and dreams, but then think backwards from your goal to where you are now. How big is the gap? Where will you need to be right before you get your goal? What will you need before that? Keep back-stepping until you get to where you are now. Now, you know where to begin! This can be applied even to simple things, like if you know you have an appointment at 3 pm and you have 6 things to do between now and then, consider how much time you need for the 6 things and be sure you start in time to do them and get to your appointment on time!
Listen to your body: rest when you need rest, eat when hungry, drink water when thirsty, exercise when your body groans and starts to squeak (or ideally before 🙂
Check in with your loved ones. You all may be psychic, but don’t assume they know how you feel or what you need. Use words, touch and actions, and everyone will feel more connected and secure.

How can you tell whether you’re in a healthy place of honoring limitation or if you’re just in fear and contraction?

When we honor limitation, there is a feeling of enthusiasm and empowerment. You feel centered, in command and “on track” towards your goal.
When we are in fear and focusing on limits in an unhealthy way, there is a feeling of contraction and disconnection from Source. We focus on why things cannot happen instead of how they can.

In the physical world, limitations exist. To not honor that is to be to some degree in fantasy or denial. It can also be disrespectful to other people, but ultimately you are the one who pays for it.

But here is the interesting part, and here is where the joy comes in…

As soon as we embrace limitation, we suddenly become unlimited in our 3-D lives. But the tricky part is we have to fully say OK to limitation first.

It’s like letting go of a relationship to allow it to come back stronger. If we let go with an ulterior motive, we are still hanging on and it won’t work.

So we have to fully say, “Ok, I’ll pay bills, I’ll be on time, I’ll communicate and keep my word, I’ll take care of my body, I’ll be practical about my goals” etc. etc. and to some extent surrender our fantasies.

And then BOOM– suddenly we get so lined up with our desires that they start to come our way and we feel absolutely unlimited.

As long as we resist getting grounded and being practical, we can never be unified because we are always fighting something in our minds. And as long as we are fighting and dividing ourselves– part of us feeling the bliss of limitlessness and part of us hating the fact that we have bodies or bills or human emotions to deal with– we have too much “friction” in the way of our success.

Here is another secret: Limits aren’t really as limited as we might think. Everything in the physical world vibrates and is ultimately made of space. Our bodies, for example, are mostly water and so actually very changeable.

When we consider “getting in our bodies,” many of us feel like we have to stuff our big, wild selves into a container and we understandably rebel! But instead we can imagine we are just coming in for a landing, that our spiritual being starts to vibrate in the cells of our body which begin to radiate with our joy.

Then we can imagine that our physical body and actions start to resonate naturally with who we really are. I feel this a lot in my yoga practice or when I’m in nature, but you can also just imagine it. Try it and see!

Meanwhile if you’d like to read more on this topic and how to cultivate your energy in your body and empower your life, check out this article I published a couple years ago, “Do You Leak Energy?“

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Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it: Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.

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Jul 10 2011

10 SECRETS TO HEALTHY RECEIVING

Growing up naturally intuitive and sensitive, I was very unaware of how much I received, and it got me in trouble! Besides, I got the programming that being feminine meant receiving whatever came my way, and stuffing my feelings if it didn’t feel good.

So receiving did not feel safe, and then I spent years guarded and missing out on so much– love, money, friendships, and the opportunity to share my gifts– all because I didn’t know how to do things differently.

Can you relate? One of the questions I hear most is “How can I be receptive/ feminine/ intuitive in a healthy way? So here are some tips:

1). Make a list of things you love, and things you hate. I know, hating may not seem polite or spiritual and that’s exactly the point. By simply allowing yourself to acknowledge what you don’t want, you’ll have the discernment and trust in yourself that allows you to OPEN to what you do want. You won’t be so afraid once you do this exercise. Trust me. It’s powerful.

2). Ground yourself. If you don’t know how, listen here to a 4-minute free sample grounding meditation.

3).If you’re stuck trying to solve a problem or process an emotion and it’s not resolving, know this: It’s NOT yours. Our own problems feel like creative challenges, not hopeless mazes. Our own emotions release after a good cry or laugh or scream. So if that’s not happening, let them go. Imagine a magic soap bubble out in front of you with a magnet in it, and imagine the emotions or problem get pulled out of you into the bubble. Then see it float off as far as you can imagine and poof! Explode it. Those people will get their emotions or problems back and they’ll get the gift of finally being able to resolve them!

4). Look at your programming and role models around receiving. Did you learn to block and shield, or to take on other’s burdens, or that being open all the time was more feminine or spiritual? Once we can see our patterns, we are most of the way there to releasing them! This is why intuitive readings can help as well, since someone outside our world can often see it more clearly than we can.

5). Once you see your patterns, act them out. I mean it. Get silly! You can grab a friend for this one, exaggerate your “issues” with your partner, or do it by yourself in the mirror until you laugh. Then see if you that pattern has any hold on you again!

6). If there is something you want to know and you find yourself obsessing and wishing you had a crystal ball… stop, sit down and ground. Then close your eyes and imagine a movie screen a few feet out in front of you. See it blank, then ask your question in your mind and imagine that you “see” the answer on the screen. Be open to symbols, colors, or vague information as well as full-on movies. Trust you will be shown what will most benefit you today. When you’ve had enough, turn it off, open your eyes and enjoy being consciously receptive!

7). Ask yourself, “Where am I right now?” Of course, you know where your body is but where are YOU? Where is your attention? Simply by noticing when you are not “home,” you have the opportunity to come back to your body. When you’re present, you’re much less likely to absorb things that don’t feel good.

8). Feel your own feelings. Often when we are habitually “not home”, we are trying to escape pain. If you have physical pain, if you don’t see a spark of light in your own eyes, or if you feel numb– these are signs that you’re not feeling fully. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to feel but the only way out is through! Once we breathe into the edge of our discomfort, it begins to dissolve. Breathe and feel!

9). Fill yourself up by enjoying your life— no waiting. It may sound paradoxical to fill yourself up when you want to receive– but when you are living a full life and radiating creativity, joy and bliss– you are a magnet for more of the same. Like attracts like.

10). Know this secret. Receiving is a CHOICE. Receiving does not just happen to you, and you can choose how to receive. I learned this in the martial art of Aikido. I could take being thrown hard, because I knew how to use the energy to twirl into a somersault and come up standing. It was exhilarating. You may not be doing martial arts, but make it a game… Decide that every judgment thrown your way turns into a hundred dollar bill. Decide that every lustful stare makes you more attractive and beckons your soulmate. Choose your version and have fun!

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Jun 18 2011

CAN LOVE & MONEY CO-EXIST?

Can love and money co-exist? According to Universal law they must, but according to our culture they often seem at odds.I’m not talking about using money as a substitute for love, which our culture does condone.

What would it be like if love and money arose from the same wellspring of wholeness and abundance that is Universal nature, that is each of our true natures? To live lives of mutual generosity and joyous gifting?

In order to have this truth reflected in our living experience, we need 2 things: 1). To own our power, and 2). To let go of control. And culturally, we have clung tight to control while disowning our power.

If we’ve ever experienced messages of “not enough” (love, money or resources), especially in our prenatal experience or early childhood, it’s in our nervous systems. We may name it “fight or flight,” and it may affect our ability to sustain healthy intimate relationships.

It’s in our DNA and ancestral lineage. If we believe in past lives, it’s in our soul’s histories too.

Recently I taught a class in LA called “Making Peace with Money.” I wanted to call it “Making Love with Money,” but I was unsure what the reaction might be so I changed it. But “Making Love with Money” is really what I meant. 🙂

As an entrepreneur, I have fun with money. I enjoy manifesting. I have had my ups and downs but I always seem to have what I need.

At one point last winter I had the idea it’d be fun to write down a list of things I’d like, just to invite them in. Suddenly money turned up everywhere– even a $20 bill I found on the street– in just the amounts necessary for the top items on my list!

But through my relationships I’ve learned that not everyone thinks about money this way! And I’ve had to face my own fears of being alone if I live differently… the fear that I had to choose between money and love.

I grew up with a provider father and a housewife mother. In my early childhood, my father was set on success and he kept getting job promotions that required us to move.

My mother went along with this for awhile, but after a few moves said “No.” So my father moved and we stayed put, and he drove 2 hours each way to see us on weekends for 3 years until they got divorced.

So early on, I got the message that love and money don’t go together. I thought if he was doing it to provide for me, maybe it was my fault my parents weren’t happy. Not to mention, my father was really an artistic and sensitive soul who felt confined in his job.

So over the years, I dated lots of artistic and sensitive men who could not or would not provide. I found one who could provide but got mad about it, since he too was making money through a job he hated.

Around this time I realized I did want to be provided for. And then it turned into needing to be provided for, to heal my early wound around all this, to “prove” that love and money could go together, and to validate my worth.

Of course, it was me who had disowned my worth to begin with, but meanwhile I wondered why I wasn’t manifesting what I consciously desired and felt worthy of. And I realized love and money had to go together in me before I could expect my world to reflect that.

And now I get it. It requires a total paradigm shift– not simply better salaries, more harmony between couples or even more self-love.

Here are some of the pictures our culture has accepted as truth:

Whoever has the money gets to control.
Money has to come through hard work and struggle.
Money= power.

It may look as if those with money have had all the control, but look from another angle and see that many of them have also felt controlled– even in the ways they’ve controlled themselves. The suit and tie that chokes at the throat goes beyond the physical, for many in high-power jobs.

And nothing wrong with suits or business! It’s just that many people’s approach to work, money and success has been very push-and-shove– including of ourselves. Stress, self-denial and feeling used-up have been the name of the game. Today, I see this in men and women at all income levels.

If we believe money equals power, then it can also be scary to spend or lose money for those who do not fully own their power within. By contrast, I had a friend who was divorcing and losing his house, and he was ok with it, explaining that everything he had came from within and could be recreated.

I think when we own our power we have the money we need, but the money does not cause the power.

I found my friend’s attitude so refreshing! But it’s not the norm.

Recently I went into a bank and saw a flyer with headlines saying, “Control,” “More Control”. That’s what they are selling people on!

No wonder the hippies have pushed away money. No wonder trust fund kids and trophy wives have rejected all the strings attached to money.

It’s just that money itself has never been the problem. With compassion, I see that those with money have used it to control because they themselves have felt bound by control. Because they wanted love and connection and that was the only way they knew to get it. At some level, they thought if their loved ones also felt control everyone would be connected and close and never leave.

Ha ha ha. I guess we all know that can backfire.

And rejecting the money doesn’t work. Those who want to separate from it and judge rich people are perpetuating the very separation they are judging. And missing the point.

Money is really a form of energy. Love is also an energy and it includes everything.

So what if everyone could give the gifts they have in their heart and in turn have what they need? I am not talking about hippie utopia. I believe in being conscious and in including money in our lives, not running from it.

I have even advised clients to get a Monopoly game and “play” with the money to create a new relationship with it. Money itself is innocent.

What if we all disconnected from control and realigned our nervous systems to accept a feeling of safety within? Once we feel safe within, we can give and receive freely and it’s easy to trust others and the Universe.

There are many techniques and healing modalities to help accomplish this, and one we all have unlimited access to is our breath. I love simply breathing down the spine all the way to the tailbone, and exhaling the breath back up the spine and out the head.

Love and money both involve circulation. When we block our natural tendencies to open and share, both love and money come to a halt in our lives. And when one is flowing, the other can too.

I knew a wealthy older man who had physical circulation problems. Yes, he had money, but he was a control freak and he hoarded both money and love. His family found him difficult but they “needed” him.

In my opinion, our experience of abundance has nothing to do with how hard we work, or with our status or degrees. It has everything to do with how much energy we choose to circulate, and lots of energy can circulate very easily if we open and allow it.

When relationship problems come up around money, it’s rarely about the money. Usually, it’s a disagreement about how much energy is ok to circulate. Often there are blocks in one or both person’s natural flow.

This is also a key to improving our sex lives, but I’ll save this for another article. 🙂

It can be scary to open up to more when our culture, friends and family have withheld. We can feel like we’ll die from loneliness– even if those people are not currently, physically with us. And if we find more energy-flow to feel more natural, we might rebel and feel terrified at the idea of constriction.

People do suffer incredibly from loneliness and constriction, and they are actually the same thing. But when we recognize that we’re all just wanting to give and receive love, and we commit to this for ourselves, things shift.

When I am in love, not necessarily with a person but when I simply live with an overflowing heart, money follows. People get inspired, and the lie I’ve held that money and love don’t go together is dissolved. Nonexistent.

And I’m excited to see more and more people living and creating this way. I think it is the wave of the future! Are you with me?

TRY THIS:

Next time you spend money, imagine 10 times the amount coming back to you from the Universe. When you receive money, imagine 10 times the amount you receive going back from the Universe to the giver. Just for fun.. I’d love to hear how it goes!

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Aug 13 2010

GROUND YOUR DREAMS NOW!

You’ve said your affirmations, made vision boards, and gone to healers and cleared up your childhood and old pain. You feel guided and worthy and you think you do all the “right things” but still your dreams still may not have manifested. Hmmm…

Sound familiar? I have been there and it can be so frustrating!

What I have learned is that we need to not only do our visioning, praying and healing, but that we also need to get into our bodies if we really want to enjoy life. As I see it the Universe is always delivering everything we ask for, but if we are not home (in our bodies) to receive it, it will seem to get delivered elsewhere.

Where would we be but in our bodies? Well, most of us (especially we sensitive types… I know from experience!) daydream a lot. When life pales in comparison to our dreams we plod through the day feeling “spaced out” and in those moments (or hours, or years… hee hee hee) our energy is “out of our body” and even though we have the grandest dream, as long as we are out of our bodies in the dream, it never has to land in our lives. There is no need!

As I shared with the Sweet Surrender class last week, I used to date on the astral (in both my dreams at night and my imagination during the day) because it was easier than dating in real life. Because I am so aware of my psychic experiences, I have felt them to be real and then wondered why my life was the way it was.

For you, it may be your finances, your health and body image, your career or something else. What do you most dream of and where does your life not match?

Now, being naturally sensitive with a big imagination is not all bad and can actually help you bring your dreams into being, if you know how to bridge the two. We are going to address that on the call next Thursday.

Besides getting grounded, if we want to in manifest our dreams I find it hugely and increasingly important to connect with others and open to support. It’s not only easier and more fun, but in these accelerated times creating alone is just too slow, not to mention out of alignment with the community-minded world we are fast becoming!

When I work with clients every week it’s like night and day watching their shifts in just a few months time! For others, months or years may go by before they ask for help.

I don’t think we have months or years anymore to step onto our paths and start living our dreams. That doesn’t mean we need to be perfect, but it does mean start now. Start whatever your heart longs to start and see what happens.

I understand this because I’ve been the one suffering for years before I asked for help, usually because I didn’t even know I needed help or that something else was possible! And then some of us think it’s noble to suffer, or we don’t want to bother anyone by asking for help.

We bother people more by not asking. We bother people by suffering in their presence and we bother people by not living our greatness and not serving in these times of great need.

So if you’re feeling a pull like more is possible in your life or that you could be more fulfilled in ANY way, consider reaching out for support. You don’t need to be suffering first; in fact, if you give yourself regular support you may never suffer again! Can you handle that?

There are many sources of support, of course, but if you’ve read this far I imagine you’ll like the “Ground Your Dreams Into Reality” Meditation mp3. The sooner you commit the quicker your dreams can find you!

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Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it:

Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts when you sign up now.

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