Have you ever reached a goal, and realized you didn’t feel what you wanted to feel? This could be be something simple or something big, such as:
- Eating an ice cream to soothe yourself, and feeling even sadder
- Completing a project, then having to face other aspects of your life that you’ve avoided
- Landing that new job to realize you don’t actually like it
- Getting married then feeling bored
Oh dear! Our human egos don’t like to admit these things. We work so hard to get the prize.
It kind of excites me to realize that the things we think are “it” aren’t “it.” Then we have to look deeper… what are we really looking for?
Even more interesting, have you ever quit something… or gotten bored… just as it got good? Your friends may have thought you were crazy.
In the early 2000’s I was a singer/ songwriter. I put my own little tours together and recorded my own CD, and I played in coffeehouses mostly around the southwest.
When I listen back to the songs I recorded, I really don’t like any of the ones I actually released in 2002. But I get excited now when I listen to the songs I wrote after that, that the world never saw.
Just as I learned to write songs, and got in my groove as a singer and performer, etc., I quit.
Was I sabotaging myself? I don’t think so. It was hard to stop after I’d put so much into it, and so I deeply considered the choice. Increasingly, at the time I felt the chapter was complete.
One day it may come around, but at the time my songs were mostly a means of self-healing. They got to me to a place where I was healed enough to live more “in the world,” and from there I developed my healing and teaching career. Added bonus- it was nice not to be up til the wee hours in bars anymore. 🙂
I still use all the skills I learned as a performer and manager of my own business. I got what I needed out of the experience, and yet it didn’t all go the way I initially imagined.
This happens a lot with relationships. My teacher had his view on why marriages often end or feel “blah” compared to the romance phase. From a spiritual perspective, he said many people look at marriage as “the goal” to achieve, and then stop growing together once they get the goal.
For example, let’s say you and your current partner or love interest knew each other in a past life, but couldn’t be together for some reason or another. You see each other in this life and BOOM- instant recognition. “I’ve gotta have him/ her,” you say to yourself. The courtship is so exciting! Once you “get” that person, you reunite with your own love energy which you projected into them, then on a certain level you’re done! You start looking at each other like, “Who are you and how did I get here?” I can hear my teacher laugh at this point, but it’s not always funny for those in it.
I don’t share this to dishearten anyone, but truly to take us deeper. Most of my clients are looking to “get” something and a big part of my job is not just to help them get what they ask for, but to get what they truly desire.
When we know what we truly desire– and who we are– from the beginning, we also make decisions that will bring us more happiness. Since, to a certain extent, how we handle each fork in the road changes the rest of our lives.
If you’re in a marriage, job, or project that feels complete, it may or may not be. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Am I looking at this person, situation and myself in present time, or through the lens of the past? If we are unable to stay current with our situation, it will likely complete because everything and everyone evolves! So consider pretending this day, this person, this situation– are all new. See yourself anew.
- What was I desiring, truly desiring when I began this? Have I realized it?
- What am I truly desiring now?
- Are there new ways I can be creative and find fulfillment within this situation?
Whatever you discover, be sure to appreciate what you have and how far you have come! Allow yourself the time and process you need.
Remember, still times are often the most fertile ground for new beginnings. Our culture loves activity and starting things, but often fails to validate the spaciousness needed for reflection, transformation and creation.
I loved being pregnant because I had a built-in, socially acceptable reason to rest and go inward. We could all do this more at certain times. Often this shows up as an internal calling rather than a physical pregnancy and birth.
This could be simply taking a nap when you would normally work, turning your phone off on a Sunday, or taking a half-hour to meditate and reflect.
If you’re feeling drawn to re-set your energy and make space for the new, consider giving yourself the gift of support. Starting Sunday, I’m offering “Spring Clean Your Energy: 7 Weeks to Balance Your Chakras and Life.“
We’ll go through one chakra each week, balancing your energy around money, health, emotions, power, love, expression, spirituality and more! Everyone from beginners to life-long spiritual seekers are welcome. Join with a friend and you’ll each get $50 back, so please share!